Cupid & God

Thirsty yet fearful I waited for an answer

On a dry field I walked, 2 years

Trusting in a life of air, honesty and inaction

Looking up to the sky

I waiting for my chance with cupid and god

But as my eyes stared up, focused and blinded

Beneath my feet the ground did vanish

And all that was was a hole

Dark and dry, the lips of my hole ripe for a kiss

From fate, not now, it will come

But my lips, they stayed dry

A dirt-filled mouth to pray

Just catch your destiny. It will find you. 

I willed and wished apathetic and passive

Do nothing, let it be done

Stay safe in dirt and indecision

God and cupid revealed in passing

But dirt attracts dirt and they stayed away

I stared in the face of meteors, begging for a sign

Inviting rocks as my tribe, I cowered on the bed of dirt

Familiar, hard and dry

A beating feels safe when you’ve met the abuser

The meteors they plummeted

And crashed through the clouds stealing rain

To wet the lips to my hole

But the dirt lips eroded while mine were wet

And as I remembered how it felt to taste drops

The opening closed and I was encased in mud

Wet mud

Grains in my eyes and sealed breath

I thought how peaceful it would be to quit

Have no more meaning, have no more drive, have no more me

To drown or be wet

You can’t swim in dirt but mud you can persuade

So I stroked to the top, birthed on land

Exposed and vulnerable but closer to cupid and god

Making changes in holes when all you see is the sky